How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others; Inner Architect: How to Build the Life You Were Designed to Live (Paperback)

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

We are all different yet we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. Why? Because the marketing business makes money, because others compare us to themselves or other people, because some people get a boost out of putting us down, and from all these experiences we start feeling not good enough. Comparing yourself to others is unhealthy and unnecessary. Here's how to stop.

Steps

1. Recognize that comparing yourself to others is a bad habit. Culture often projects flawless skin, big eyes, full lips, small nose, pure white teeth, smooth and shiny hair, curvy body, and designer clothes for women and they portray them as being happy. They portray tall men with flawless skin, six packs, and designer clothes with lots of women, and they define that that is what makes a man happy. Culture is extremely successful in being able to brainwash people into believing they should look a certain way, act a certain way, be a certain someone, when in reality every single one of us is different. What culture does is categorize people and they want you to believe that you have fewer rights to be happy because you do not fit an idealistic lifestyle. That's why lots of men and women resort to plastic surgery, hide away from society, and grow up thinking that there's something wrong with them. Comparing yourself to others, especially celebrities, is a fine way to throw your self-esteem down the drain as there will always be those who are 'better' than you, and those who are 'worse' than you. In the end you will most likely end up wishing you were different with thoughts of worthlessness. It takes you nowhere, wastes a lot of time, and puts you in a psychologically terrible place.
2. Realize that everybody is different, because we are. People are born to be different; no two of us are the same. We have different mindsets, we interpret things differently, we have different experiences, we feel different emotions. Even identical twins are different from each other. We all will always have room for improvement; nobody is flawless, whether it is on the outside or on the inside. As much as some people may want to believe otherwise, nobody is perfect.It would be wise to stop letting people get to you, and be open-minded and aware of what you are doing to others. Something you can do is start thinking how different they are from you.
3. Stop being afraid to be yourself. Whatever size, color, religion, gender, race, or sexual orientation, don't be afraid to be yourself. Nobody but you has the right to dictate what you do, what you think, and what you believe in. There is only one you; nobody has more rights over another person to live. Everybody comes into the world the same way; we all age, feel, analyze, and eventually die, so nobody is more special than another. We are all different. If you've forgotten who you are, find yourself again.
4. Forgive and learn. Learn to recognize that holding a grudge only ties you down from what you really want out of life. Untie the knot and set yourself free. Better yet, analyze and learn what actually hurt you, and prevent it from happening again in the future.
5. Understand that not everything is possible. You might have heard the saying, 'nothing is impossible'. In reality that's only denialism and false hope. You can't fly, change the weather, time-travel, change the past, live forever, make someone else change unless they are willing to, fit in with everybody, or be somebody else. There are many more things that cannot happen in reality. Be yourself and appreciate where you are now.
6. Learn to deal with change and embrace it.

7. Whatever makes you happy, whatever floats your boat. If you feel you need self-improvement and have set yourself an attainable goal, go for it. If you believe that you really need change, do it now. Be sure that you're doing it because it will make you happier, rather than impressing somebody else. For example, stop swearing if it makes you feel better. Learn to meditate. Start helping others. Learn a new skill. Improve your reading speed. Learn how to write poetically, work towards a better grade, be nicer to someone, try to be more outgoing, train yourself to run faster, learn how to wear makeup better, find clothes that will fit your frame, be a better wikiHow contributor, work harder towards that promotion, learn to better manage your time, change your habit of being a perfectionist, etc. Do it because you feel good about it, not because you feel bad about yourself. This is your life.

From: wikihow.com

Inner Architect: How to Build the Life You Were Designed to Live (Paperback)

by

Susan Hanshaw

The only how-to guide to creating a life you love leads you through six phases of creating change in your life. Highlights include:

Phase 1: Considering Change
Recognize your choices
How your values validate your unhappiness
How to use prior experience as a model for change

Phase 2: Designing a Job You Love
How to claim your right to love your job
How to believe your potential is unlimited
How to discover your passions and purpose

Phase 3: Breaking Through Fear
How to eliminate your fear of money
How to strengthen your belief in yourself
How to trust your heart and instincts

Phase 4: Creating Your Plan
The importance of a plan and how to create one

Phase 5: Building from the Inside Out
How your thoughts and words influence your outcomes
How to use visualization to build your new life
How to develop habits that consciously create what you want

Phase 6: Moving into Your New Life
The importance of claiming your new life and how to do it
How to break through the insecurities of being new
How to break through barriers to success

Inner Architect is a proven recipe for building a new life. Key components include:
1. Steps: Providing the foundation for growth in the format of how-to s, tips and steps.
2. Exercises: Enabling you to get clarity on your obstacles, ideas, visions and necessary steps for moving forward.
3. Keys to Evaluate: Provided at the end of every step for checking in on doubts and deeper obstacles.


About the Author

Author Susan Hanshaw abandoned a thriving 20-year corporate career, culminating with a position as Vice President and second-in-command of her firm, to create a life with greater passion and purpose. Her journey away from the corporate world provides the substance for Inner Architect, and the workshops, keynote speaking and one-on-one coaching she does to promote this work.

Susan holds a BS degree in Business Management from Keene State College, NH, an AA in Psychology from Skyline College, CA and Ordained Ministerial Counselor certification from Pathways of Light Spiritual College, Kiel, WI.

Organic Backyard Gardening

Organic Backyard Gardening

5 Easy Tips for Beginners

There's nothing like picking your own vegetables and eating them straight from the garden. Start an organic garden in your own backyard with tips from Ann Thrupp, director of sustainability at Fetzer Vineyards in California.

What's organic gardening, exactly? Growing organically means eliminating synthetic chemicals (commonly used for pest control and soil nutrition), as well as encouraging biological diversity by planting a mix of species and rotating plants over time.

Note that if you plan to sell your produce, you must follow specific rules as defined by federal law in order to claim that the produce is organic. The term "organic" is defined by the National Organic Standards; details can be found here.

Tip #1: Start with Compost

Having good, healthy soil is crucial to a healthy organic garden, and one way to start improving soil quality is to mix compost into your soil. You can make compost from your own yard trimmings, grass clippings and food waste (such as peels from fruits and vegetables, and even egg shells). Once the mixture is composted, which usually takes a few months, that rich compost can be incorporated in the soil, adding valuable nutrients and biological activity. If you can't wait to make your own, you can purchase compost at most garden centers or nurseries.

Tip #2: Choose Carefully

When you begin planting, usually in the spring, choose vegetables or other plant species that are well-suited to your climate and that tend to be resistant to pests and diseases. Check with your local nursery or university extension service to find out which plants are best suited to your climate.

I tried growing broccoli in my garden, but it really didn't work in the soil that I have: The broccoli was stunted, and the leaves yellowed. I found out later that the soil had too much clay, did not drain well, and needed more nitrogen. I could have fostered nitrogen by adding more compost and manure, or by planting soy beans as a cover crop before planting the broccoli. The lessons to me were: Grow plants that are suited to your environment and soil, and ensure your soil is healthy and well-prepared.

Tip #3: Mix Things Up

Planting a diversity of flowers or other plants in a garden is known as "interplanting" (or sometimes "companion planting"), an approach that helps to protect crops against insect pests. It's wise to interplant flowers or herbs between or around vegetables in order to attract beneficial insects and encourage natural pest control.

You can use small plant "starts" that can also be purchased locally. If you start with seeds, it's helpful to put seeds into little pots or a flat tray first, and then transplant them when they are a few inches tall.

Tip #4: Repel Pests Naturally

Plant marigolds, chrysanthemums, dahlias or clematis vines in and around your garden. These aromatic flowers are natural bug repellents because they have strong scents, called olfactory inhibitors, which may confuse or repel insect pests looking for crops to feed on. These flowers also may act as "trap" plants that entice pests away from crops: Nasturtium flowers, for example, act as a trap crop for aphids. In addition, these flowers attract certain types of beneficial insects (such as lacewings, hoverflies, ladybugs and pirate bugs), which help control insect pests that feed on vegetables.

Tip #5: Grow Easy

Your organic garden should be a source of pleasure, not frustration. The best plants to grow organically vary depending on where you live, but squash, cucumber, watermelon, tomatoes, peppers, greens, green beans and herbs, as well as all the "natural insect repellent" flowers I mentioned earlier, are relatively easy to grow organically in many climates.

From: iVillage.com

Green Grocery Shopping on a Budget

Green Grocery Shopping on a Budget

by Erin Walsh

Want to green your grocery cart, but think organic foods are out of your price range? Think again. If you pick and choose your spots and know how to shop smart, you can make healthy purchases that are good for you and your wallet.

Sally Fallon, author of the best-selling cookbook Nourishing Traditions and founding president of the Weston A. Price Foundation, shares some easy, budget-friendly tips on where to shop, how to navigate the aisles, and what's important to buy organic (and what's not).

Where to Shop

As organic goes mainstream, organic foods are starting to show up everywhere—not just in specialty stores and high-end chains like Whole Foods. Fallon suggests checking out these trusty (and probably less expensive) alternatives:

Farmers' markets: Although "local" doesn't necessarily mean "organic" (be sure to ask!), farmers' markets are generally great places to find organic fruits and vegetables.

CSAs: Consider joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). These groups purchase vegetables directly from organic farmers and have them delivered to central drop-off locations in nearby cities.

Supermarkets: That's right—if you're willing to do a little extra legwork, you can usually find good organic alternatives at your regular neighborhood supermarket.

The Staples

If you're just starting to make the transition to organic, the smartest plan of attack is to prioritize your grocery list—i.e. invest in a bottle of good olive oil before splurging on organic chocolate. Fallon recommends getting started with these staples (which, even if you can't find organic, are still a good way to start improving your diet):

Proteins: Eggs; chicken; luncheon meats

Fats: Butter; olive oil; coconut oil

Dairy: Cheese; full-fat plain yogurt; cream

Carbohydrates: Potatoes; oatmeal; brown rice; sourdough bread

Beverages: Sparkling water; freshly squeezed juices; herbal teas

Condiments: Sauerkraut; kim chee; mustard; ketchup

Avoid At All Costs

Just as important as knowing what to buy is knowing what not to buy. As a general rule, Fallon advises steering clear of the following items and ingredients:

Proteins: Commercial chicken; highly processed luncheon meats

Fats: Commercial cooking oils, margarines and spreads; anything "partially hydrogenated"

Dairy: Low-fat dairy products; anything ultra-pasteurized

Carbohydrates: White bread; white rice

Beverages: Soda; anything containing high-fructose corn syrup; anything containing synthetic vitamin D2, which can have toxic effects

Condiments: Anything containing high-fructose corn syrup; anything with lots of additives and colorings

Pick Your Battles

It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Even if you can't buy 100% of your food organic, it's still worth your while to splurge on key items. The secret, explains Fallon, is buying organic where it counts. Since chicken and pork are usually grown in total confinement, for example, it's probably worth it to pay extra for the organic versions; beef and lamb, on the other hand, are still grown at least partially on pasture—so they are good conventional choices for shoppers trying to keep costs down.

When it comes to fruits and vegetables, the Environmental Working Group (EWG) is a great resource. The nonprofit research organization publishes a list of fruits and vegetables with the most and least pesticides, so you'll know which ones to buy organic, and which conventionally grown ones are okay when the organic version is cost-prohibitive or not available.

Best fruits (least pesticides):

• Avocados
• Pineapples
• Mangoes
• Kiwi
• Bananas
• Papaya

Worst fruits (most pesticides):

• Peaches
• Apples
• Nectarines
• Strawberries
• Cherries
• Grapes (imported)
• Pears

Vegetables

Best vegetables (least pesticides):

• Onions
• Sweet corn
• Sweet peas
• Asparagus
• Cabbage
• Broccoli

Worst vegetables (most pesticides):

• Sweet bell peppers
• Celery
• Lettuce
• Spinach
• Potatoes
• Carrots

Shopping Tips

Fallon shares a few last words of advice before sending you off to greener pastures:

1. Go easy on yourself. Don't be obsessive about going organic!
2. Make the transition slowly. Don't throw out everything in your fridge and start from scratch; just buy a few new items each time you go to the store.
3. Join a CSA. Getting fresh vegetables from a farm will encourage you to try new foods for your family. To find a CSA near you, contact your nearest chapter of the Weston A. Price Foundation.
4. Shop the "edges" of the supermarket. Make whole foods from scratch rather than spend a lot of money on organic processed foods.
5. Strive for real, whole food, not just organic food. A plain old baked potato with conventional butter is always better than a frozen organic potato mixed with additives or fried in oil.